A 10-Minute Sermon by Niki McDowell
In my first sermon, I talked about letting people in during a storm. Today, I want to talk about something just as important — who you let in. Because not every boat belongs in your fleet.
Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Now, I live in Kansas City, so I’m going to start where any good Kansas Citian would — with the Chiefs.
The Chiefs: Iron in the Locker Room
When the Chiefs were building their dynasty, Patrick Mahomes didn’t surround himself with people who told him he was good enough. He surrounded himself with people who pushed him to be better. Travis Kelce pushing him on the field. Andy Reid challenging him in the film room. Chris Jones going hard in practice so that game day felt easier.
The Chiefs talk about iron sharpening iron in that locker room. It’s not just a slogan on a wall — it’s how they practice. George Karlaftis, one of our defensive linemen, said he gets better every day because he goes against his own teammates who refuse to let him take a play off. That’s iron sharpening iron. They don’t get sharper by surrounding themselves with people who let them coast. They get sharper by surrounding themselves with people who make them earn it.
Three Super Bowls didn’t happen because they had the most talent. It happened because they sharpened each other every single day.
Small Town Iron: Stockton, Kansas
I saw this growing up in my hometown of Stockton. We had a run of state championship football teams. We were runner-ups my junior year and won it all my senior year. To this day, when I go back for the fair, I love running into my high school counselor. She always tells me the same thing: “Your class was something. You weren’t the smartest class to graduate, but man were you the best team and the hardest working.”
That wasn’t talent. That was iron sharpening iron. We made each other better just by expecting more from each other.
Our class started a tradition of excellence that stayed around in Stockton for almost a decade after we graduated. One of the most successful people to come out of that run is Cody Foster. He co-founded Advisors Excel in Topeka — nearly 900 employees, billions in assets under management.
I was at a sporting event recently and Cody was talking about one of his classmates from back then — a guy he said he couldn’t stand at the time. The guy never let up. Never took a play off. Drove Cody crazy in practice. But looking back, Cody realized that was the friction that made him better.
Proverbs 27:5-6 — “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
That teammate was wounding Cody every single day in practice. And it was the best thing that ever happened to him. That’s what iron sharpening iron actually feels like in the moment — it’s not fun. It’s uncomfortable. Sometimes you can’t stand the person doing it. But it works.
Your Five: The People Who Shape You
Now, here’s where my 14-year-old daughter comes in — because apparently she’s smarter than I was at her age.
Imani told me recently that you become who you are based on the five people you spend the most time with. I looked at her and thought — where did you learn that? Turns out, it’s a famous quote from a motivational speaker named Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
She’s fourteen. And she already gets it. In fact, my daughter gets a lot of things, she also taught be about accepting correction.
I want every kid to read that. Look around at your five closest friends. Are they making you sharper? Are they pushing you to be better, to be kinder, to try harder? Or are they letting you coast? Are they pulling you toward trouble, or pulling you toward the person you want to become?
And parents — same question for us. Who are our five? Are we sharpening each other, or are we just comfortable?
Pillows vs. Iron
Here’s the thing about iron sharpening iron that most people skip over. It’s not gentle. When you rub two pieces of iron together, there’s friction. There are sparks. It’s uncomfortable.
The friend who tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear — that’s iron. The teammate who won’t let you take a play off — that’s iron. The parent who holds you accountable even when you push back — that’s iron.
The people who just agree with everything you say, who never challenge you, who let you stay exactly where you are — that’s not iron. That’s a pillow. Pillows are comfortable. But you can’t sharpen anything with a pillow.
The Challenge
Now here’s the challenge I want everyone to take home today. Think about your five — but not your family. I’m talking about the five people you choose. Outside your family. The friends, the mentors, the people you call when things get hard or when you need the truth. Those are the five that shape you — because you picked them.
Kids — look at your friend group. Are those five people making you sharper? And here’s the other side — are you iron for them? Because it goes both ways. You’re not just looking for sharp people. You’re supposed to be sharpening someone else too.
Parents — same question. Who are your five by choice? And be honest — are they iron or are they pillows?
Patrick Mahomes could have surrounded himself with people who told him he was the greatest quarterback who ever lived. Instead, he chose people who made him prove it every day. And look what happened.
Your five might not win you a Super Bowl. But they will shape who you become. Choose iron.
Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Choose people who sharpen you. And be the iron that sharpens someone else.
My Prayer
God, help me choose the people who sharpen me, and give me the strength to be the iron that sharpens someone else. Let me be brave enough to let people in and wise enough to know who belongs in the fleet. In Jesus’ name, I pray.
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